If you are a person who loves to perform comedy, like I do, and you’re also a mom, like I am, then you know that finding stage time is a lot harder post children than it was b.c. (before children). Notice I said “you’re a mom”—I don’t think this is a problem that men/fathers grapple with as much, but I won’t get into all the politics of it right now. I’ll just say that I have noticed that it male comedians seem to usually have built in babysitters much of the time allowing for their ability to be out in the evenings, whether it’s their wife, partner or their own mom, evidenced by the fact that *most successful comedians are men.*
But I digress!
Here are a few ways that I make time to get on stage, even though I have kids.
I prioritize childcare that coincides with nighttime responsibilities. It’s not just that I “get a babysitter,” because that is not as easy as it sounds for most people, in most places, and it is an ongoing challenge for me, too. Plus, babysitters aren’t cheap. Leaving my kids with someone also comes with emotional challenges. Unfortunately, most comedy takes place at night. I wish it were different. I am trying to change it. (I’ve started a morning time comedy show for moms, styled after a morning time comedy show I used to perform on in NYC.) However I do it. I put the time and effort into finding babysitters that I can afford and that I can trust to leave my kids alone with. It took me almost a year to do this. It’s not an easy feat. But if I can do it, you can do it. The way I did it was, I joined several mom groups and posted that I was seeking childcare, and I asked if any of the moms had teen daughters who they’d trust to babysit. It added a bit of comfort knowing that these girls were accountable not only to me and my kids, but also to their own moms. I’ve found several really reliable sitters this way.
I look for opportunities to perform during the day. Online shows, festivals, speaking engagements, parties, luncheons, breakfast events and more; there are many opportunities to perform that don’t happen at night. I look for them the way I’d look for a hundred dollar bill I misplaced in my car. I reach out to them and get that day time stage time. If you can’t find any daytime shows, follow in the morning show footsteps and start a morning show in your town. Let’s normalize morning comedy shows.
I schedule in advance. I’d love to be able hop on a show last minute, and sometimes it does work out when I’m asked. But usually, I book weeks and even months out. I get my childcare in place, and then double and triple check as it gets closer. Sometimes, I even get back up childcare, if it’s a gig that I can’t afford to miss.
I bring the kids. Sometimes, the stars align and there are certain opportunities that will allow for me to bring my children along. Whether it’s a morning/daytime show, or a show that offers babysitting (yes, this is a thing!), or I bring my own babysitter or partner and send them to a nearby playground or restaurant until I’m done, or it’s a fun show that I know the kids will enjoy, sometimes, for whatever reason, the kids have to come. With any job, sometimes the kids have to come, and comedy is no different. Let’s normalize bringing your kids to work when your work is performing comedy.
Whatever it is that’s blocking you from the stage, there’s a way around it. Don’t let your kids or any family members keep you from getting that stage time that you want. Even if you only perform once a week or once a month, it’s worth it. You’re worth it.
Today’s comedy inspo:
Here’s an interesting read in Cracked
The 17th Annual 50 1st Jokes is worth the price of admission
Stop wasting your life and watch Cunk on Earth if you haven’t yet (hi Diane Morgan, let’s be best friends forever?)
I’m late to this boat, but what do you think of Matt Rife, anyway?
See you next time, friend.