The Story Of The Go Go Dancing Stand Up Comedian
Does that sound like a killer book title, or what?
I’ve talked about this story a little bit over the years, and whenever I write or talk about it, it gets a pretty good response, because this story is bonkers.
When I was 18, I was directionless. I had boundless energy and dreams, but no focus, no mentor to point me the right way, and no money. I was looking for work, and I had few skills, besides waitressing and some basic sales associate experience, but no one was hiring in either of those fields. I tried Barnes and Noble, the few chain restaurants in my area, and applied to a few jobs I found in the classifieds, but I had no luck. Finally, I found a listing in the paper offering $$$$$$$$. I was excited about this prospect, and called the number.
A scratchy voiced woman answered the phone. She told me about the job—go go dancing. My first instinct was to hang up, but then I remembered all those dollar signs. As we chatted, she somehow coerced me into coming over to her house to talk a little bit more. Upon arrival, the first thing that hit me was the overwhelming smell of cats and cigarettes. She lived in a nice enough condo, it was just coated in cat fur with full ash trays everywhere.
I brought a few items over with me that I thought I might wear to go go dance, as I told her I would—some flowered undies, a few padded bras. As I pulled the items out, she began shaking her head no. “We are going to have to get you some outfits,” she said. “But for now, these will do.” She gave me an address, and told me to be there at 9 pm.
I pulled into the parking lot and parked my purple Volvo. The lot was packed. It was a Friday night, and the bar was slammed with white dudes. I entered to the sounds of, “Boom boom boom, let me hear you say way-o!” on the radio, as a bored looking brunette shimmied around a stage surrounded by a bar on all sides.
I chatted with the manager for a few minutes, and he explained that we’d each dance to 3 songs and then walk around to the men to collect our tips. I was gobsmacked. I’d have to go over to each person and ask them for money?
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